


Shuffling the Deck

by Sons_of_Sirens



Series: Full Deck [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Eventual Romance, Fluffy, Gen, Romance, Shenanigans, Silly, sad feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:15:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24525223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sons_of_Sirens/pseuds/Sons_of_Sirens
Summary: A few little spin-offs and day-in-the-life blurbs from my main fic, Full Deck!
Series: Full Deck [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1772383
Comments: 40
Kudos: 89





	Shuffling the Deck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Geeketeer!

Cuffs? Check.  
Boot polish? Check.  
Buttons? Check.  
Intriguing, _yet not overpowering_ , afternoon-appropriate personal fragrance? Check.

Wine reviewed himself in the full-length standing walnut mirror in his room. _Perfect, as always._ He turned this way and that to admire his posture and the shine on his boots.

Looking very nice, indeed. Nice enough for this board meeting with the regional representative. That resurfacing cream really smoothed out the little nicks and divots in his bones, left over from years of struggling to survive in the underground. Not that he was vain, per se...but a man needs to preserve his face after all, since he only has one. It astounded him to think that humans routinely ruined their only set of skin in the sunlight, with smoking and god knows what else. Yet if they were only allotted one pair of shoes for the rest of their lives, they would never walk anywhere again.

At any rate, Wine wasn't preening. Not too much, anyway. A man _did_ have to look his best, and at his age...

Not even forty yet, not until next year. Hardly what one would call middle-aged. Thirty-nine was not middle-aged. Forty-five, now _that_ was middle-aged.

And only six years away, but better not to dwell on that idea.

And yet he didn't even look his age now! He was the oldest in the house, certainly, but plenty of people had mistaken him for the same age as some of the others. True, they were humans, but humans could still tell the difference, right? He had taken very good care of himself, all things considered. He could confidently say, gazing at his uniformed reflection in the mirror, that he cut a very handsome figure.

And _charming_ , too. He heard that word quite a bit, and wasn't it the truth? He'd had a lifetime to learn court politics, to say the things people wanted or needed to hear, to know when to be silent and when to flatter. You needed to be charming when you worked with both an intelligence agency and a dangerously unstable Queen. Anyone who wasn't charming was no longer alive.

Cultured was also on the list of his better traits. He'd never liked the violence and cruelty of his former life. He had deliberately cultivated a more intellectual mold for himself, if only to rise above the common murderers in some way. Possibly he was no better than them morally speaking, but at least he knew mahogany from teak. Most of the guard didn't know mahogany from cardboard.

Yes, all in all, he was an enviable person. Nothing to fear from this world, as he could negotiate, flatter, charm, buy, bribe or blackmail his way around any obstacle. 

Yep. Definitely. Any obstacle.

Except a crush.

* * *

“So I can see about the delivery times on the rest of the vinyl siding. It shouldn't be too long at the fulfillment center, even with a bulk order.” The woman at the end of the polished table shuffled a stack of papers and a few brochures and stood up to shake the hands of the rest of the HOA board. “Of course you have my number if you need anything at all.”

“Thank you Julie, we appreciate you coming all the way out here for us,” Edith smiled, rising up to shake the woman's hand.

“Not at all! That's what I get paid for!”

Wine sat at the other end of the table, presiding over the meeting between the Walnut Grove Valley Homeowner's Association board and the representative for the regional HOA group. He had a relaxed smile on his face and nodded along politely, as the other members shook hands with the representative and stood to leave.

Underneath the table, he gripped the sides of his chair until it almost cracked in half.

Julie Dartmont. The regional rep who came to visit their HOA every five months or so, discussing improvements around the community, creating marketing plans and coordinating purchases for maintenance and building materials. Wine had spoken with her only a few times on these occasions.

And every single time, he made an ass of himself.

Was it his fault he spent his entire life in survival mode, struggling to raise a brother on his own, never being able to trust even his closest associates? Every single day, he'd been high-strung and wound tighter than a clock spring, just _waiting_ for that stab in the back that was coming sooner or later. He'd learned to be fast, strong, resourceful, deceptive, observant and stealthy.

Nobody ever taught him how to _flirt._

But today would be different. Today, he had a plan.

“AH JULIE, BEFORE YOU GO,” he said, standing up with all the nonchalance of a man on his lunch break, “I'D LIKE TO GET YOUR OPINION ON SOME ADDITIONAL AMENITIES WE'VE BEEN CONSIDERING FOR THE CLUBHOUSE'S TERRACE. WON'T TAKE A MOMENT, IF YOU'D LIKE TO COME ALONG?”

“Of course!” 

Wine smiled and graciously gestured her towards the side door of the clubhouse meeting room, holding it open for her to pass through first.

Julie was thirty-seven years old, unmarried, lived two states away and had a cat named Chester. Not that Wine had been stalking her or anything. That would be upsetting. But as a captain of the guard specializing in intelligence, he lived by the rule of getting to know your opponent on their home turf.

Julie's home turf was apparently Facebook. She liked classic wines, jazz music and black and white movies. She also had pretty chestnut hair, a dazzling smile, and this cute way of ducking her head slightly to the side whenever she laughed. Just _charming_.

The two exited out of the clubhouse and onto the sunny terrace, where a few residents were lounging or swimming in the pool. 

“AS YOU CAN SEE,” Wine began, “THE ENTIRE TERRACE HAS A DATED STONE EDIFICE, AND WE WERE THINKING OF REDOING IT IN A MORE SANDSTONE COLOR...POSSIBLY EVEN RE-TILING THE POOL TO MATCH. THOUGHTS? ”

Julie frowned in concentration at the sight. “Well, I might have a few suggestions for some affordable tile options...a lot of the communities I've been to lately have put in a very trendy aqua-wave pattern...”

Wine nodded politely along as Julie rattled off tile and stone options. God she was beautiful, and so classy. No bright-patterned jogging leggings or overloaded knock-off tote bag. She was all class, always polished and professional. 

Time for his plan.

_Step one: Use a pretense to get alone time with Julie under the guise of renovation suggestions._

_Step two: Segue into an invitation for dinner at Roman's, a restaurant with a three-month advance booking and an approved guest list so short you could count it on one hand._

_Step three: Collect on that favor Roman owed to Wine and get the best seat in the house, the one in the little secluded booth with the soft lights._

_Step four: Saying charming and witty things at Julie until she agrees to marriage._

Step four needed a bit of work. But the other steps were pretty much airtight.

“...so it's really up to you. What do you think?”

Wine snapped out of his thoughts to find he hadn't even been listening to Julie. She arched a brow at him.

“I THINK THAT WOULD BE FINE,” he said immediately, hoping this was vague enough for whatever she asked of him.

“Which one?”

Oh hell. _Which one_. She'd asked a pointed question. But that was the perfect segue for step two!

_“You know, I'm really not sure? I'd like to talk to you more about this when you have the time and we're not out here on the terrace in the hot sun. Would you be free for dinner tonight?”_

Is what his brain said.

“THE BLUE ONE,” is what his mouth said. 

“Which...blue one?” Julie looked at him oddly. “There are several blue patterns.”

_“Ha ha, oh I'm sorry, I'm afraid my mind was wandering. Do you know, I'm really not sure? I'd like to talk to you more about this when-”_

“ANY BLUE ONE IS FINE,” his mouth said. God _dammit_. 

“Oh...okay,” Julie said slowly, looking perhaps a bit annoyed that she'd rambled through the entire tile catalog by memory for nothing.

“AH, BUT! UM!” Wine's mouth made a valiant effort to communicate with his brain, if not at lightning-fast speed, then at least via pony express. “WILL YOU BE IN TOWN FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS? I, UM...”

He was suddenly very aware how hellishly hot a leather jacket was in the bright sunshine. How did he never notice that before? Why was he wearing a damn scarf in the _summer?_

“I THOUGHT PERHAPS...IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY PRESSING BUSINESS-”

“Ah, I'm so sorry,” Julie said with an apologetic smile. “I'm actually leaving town tomorrow to head back home.”

Tomorrow? Tomorrow was not tonight! Dinner tonight was still possible!

“OH, WELL, IN THAT CASE, I WOULDN'T DREAM OF DETAINING YOU TOMORROW...HOWEVER...” Wine was back on track. His brain and his mouth were once more on speaking terms. _Just pretend you're in front of an insane Queen who can have you killed at any moment if you don't pour on the charm._

That always calmed him down.

“Oh good, thanks for understanding,” Julie beamed. “I have an engagement party I don't want to miss.”

“REALLY? WHOSE, MAY I ASK?”

“My own!” Julie said proudly, blushing a little. “I've kept it quiet because we don't want a big to-do, but, well you know...”

She smiled the world's most beautiful smile at Wine, as his soul dropped down into where his stomach might be, if he had one.

“CONGRATULATIONS,” he said weakly, suddenly wanting very much to sit down before his legs decided to do so without a chair.

“Thank you. So do you want me to just send along some of the tile samples when I get back?”

“YES, THAT WOULD BE LOVELY,” Wine answered, mouth now on automatic pilot.

“Great! Well, then just watch for the samples in the mail.” Julie shuffled the papers under her arms and gave him a small wave over her shoulder. “Thanks again! See you!”

“SEE YOU,” Wine said, mostly to himself. When she was gone, he walked over and sat down at one of the terrace tables, slumping with his chin propped up in his hands, staring at the worn and outdated tiles of the pool perimeter. 

He suddenly felt very old.

**Author's Note:**

> Wine: NOTHING CAN DEFEAT ME EXCEPT FEELS  
> Feels: s'up  
> Wine: OH HELL
> 
> Poor old man Wine :)


End file.
